[Bullshit] Fun With Selective Quotations

The producers of Footloose, (the musical) showing currently in the West End are showing selective quotes on their website from The Sun and banners outside the theatre from The Daily Express:

“Sensational” – The Sun

“The Perfect Show” – The Daily Express

But what were the critics really trying to say in less words?

“despite one sensational country and western-influenced showstopper, this is a sort of poor man’s Saturday Night Fever, more tongue-tied than Footloose.” – Bill Hagerty – The Sun

“Footloose is not about the plot, nor yet the characters, and it is certainly not about the performances which are almost uniformly end-pf-the-pier sub-West End standard, nor the choreography. No, it is about an audience coming to hear songs they already know from the film. It is the perfect show for those who hate surprises.” – Ruth Leon – The Daily Express

Have to credit Private Eye with this, picked up a copy today.

Tags: ITM Politik Footloose Musical Critic Quotes The Sun Daily Express Humour West End Theatre Private Eye

[Seriously] Talking Politics

Those who spurn politics may as well
live apart from society, not work and not dial the emergency services
when there is a problem.

My church is mainly made up of pentecostals and a lot of them don’t like to discuss politics, social justice or reform. When someone brings up a political issue they roll their eyes, joke or try to change the subject.

Most of these very same people are the ones who like to quote many great and inspirational politicians and social activists and reformers from the past when speaking and preaching. People like Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, Charles Spurgeon, Nelson Mandella, Mother Teresa, Francis of Assisi, Steve Chalke, Franklin D Roosevelt and Charles Colson. Winston Churchill is a favourite, a source of much inspiration, and he wasn’t even a confessing Christian! He described himself as an “optimistic agnostic”.

So what is politics? Merriam-Webster defines it as:

1 a : the art or science of government b : the art or science concerned with guiding or influencing governmental policy c : the art or science concerned with winning and holding control over a government
2 : political actions, practices, or policies
3 a : political affairs or business; especially : competition between competing interest groups or individuals for power and leadership (as in a government) b : political life especially as a principal activity or profession c : political activities characterized by artful and often dishonest practices
4 : the political opinions or sympathies of a person
5 a : the total complex of relations between people living in society b : relations or conduct in a particular area of experience especially as seen or dealt with from a political point of view

My interpretation is that is about managing a large tribe, region or nation of people. It is trying to make decisions that will benefit all or most, to the well-being of all or most. Those who spurn politics may as well live apart from society, not work and not dial the emergency services when there is a problem.

The next question is: Are you someone who is not interested in politics but have quoted at least one of the politicians or reformers above? Then you may be interested an excellent summary of the history of Democracy in the Western world written by Prof. Prabhu Guptara on his blog – “What does it mean to be a democracy?“.

It is interesting to note that many of the founders of Western democracy were all Christian believers of one denomination or another. It was their faith that inspired them to take up politics and to campaign or introduce social justice, change and reform.

I don’t doubt at all that Churchill was a great leader, but I try to think why it is that most present day Christians I know will show lack of interest or dismiss political and social issues today, yet draw so much inspiration from these past politicians and activists. I have a few theories which I am willing to share:

1) It is easier to look back in history and separate the ‘good’ from the ‘bad’. It requires much more insight and thought to look at present day leaders and determine their character and intent.

2) It is much easier to quote something inspirational from a great leader who had done something for ordinary people, than it is to stand with ordinary people and do something great for them.

3) We have a general apathy towards the causes of fellow man or are cynical that politics can achieve anything useful or good.

Finally, this is not a general criticism of those who have difficulty understanding politics, or of those who are already committed to social or missionary causes and do not have the time to engage in political debate. I know a number of people who do not have the time or understanding but do show interest in and/or concern for political and social issues, as well as involve themselves in social causes.

In the end, we will be judged not by the knowledge we didn’t have, but by what we did with knowledge we had.

Tags: Abandon All Fear Talking Politics Church Pentecostals Social Justice Reform Winston Churchill Martin Luther King Gandhi Abraham Lincoln Charles Spurgeon Nelson Mandella Mother Teresa Francis of Assisi Steve Chalke Abandon All Fear Charles Colson Influence Inspirational What is politics? Democracy Guptara Christian Believers History Leaders

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[Solutions] Well Thought Out Concepts

June 1st – Accident Free Day

That’s right, the company I work for, Politico, has come up with this brilliant idea for tackling the high level of accidents that happen in our industry. Another fine example of a managers typical ineffective response to a real problem.

I don’t know about you but when I wake up in the morning, I always intend to have an accident-free day. Is it just me or do people go to work thinking, ‘I’ll have an accident this morning, then maybe another one just before the end of my shift’?

See the problem with accidents is they’re accidents! They’re unplanned! How the hell do you go about planning an ‘accident-free day’?

Why stop at one day, why don’t we just declare an ‘Accident Free Day’ everyday of the year? We’d save a heck of a lot of money on insurance and perhaps we’d be able to do away with all those premiums altogether!

Politico Employee Survey

Apparently we are one of the top organisations in the country. It’s all down to this cleverly worded employee survey they put out a few months ago. Some of the responses included:

• 89% of you feel you have a secure future at the company. Meaning: I will not be promoted and I have no hope of finding a job elsewhere.
• 81% of you value the help that training provides. Meaning: If we were provided training it would be a help us do our jobs properly, rather than just relying on finding someone who knows how to do something.
• 79% of you feel fully involved in the company. Meaning: They call my mobile if I’m on holiday.
• 75% of you would recommend Politico to others as an employer… to avoid.

Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire

[Predicting Evil] Resourcing Not to Blame for 7/7 – Not Proud of Britian…

Excellent post over at Not Proud of Britain…

“With hindsight, when would the authorities have arrested Mohammad Sidique Khan or ‘Sid the school assistant’ as he was known? As he headed towards Kings Cross on July 7th or sometime earlier when his intentions were still far from certain?” – Snafu

I think this pretty much sums up the whole problem with The War Against Terror (TWAT) and our current governments obsession with micro-managing our lives, and locking up people before they have (potentially) committed any crime.

There are 2 certainties here; number one, there is no person, scientist, government, computer or spirit on earth that can predict with 100% accuracy that someone is destined to commit a crime or turn into a terrorist. Secondly, every human being alive has the potential inside themselves to commit good or evil.

The bible, and indeed nature, tells us that we are inclined towards evil, and that good is only achieved when we overcome our own evil (selfish) desires. I wont get into it here, but anyone who wants to argue with me on these points can feel free to leave a comment and I will respond.

The only being that knows whether we will do right or wrong is God. So why doesn’t God intervene and stop these things? If Sid Khan was ‘destined’ to become a suicide bomber, why did God allow him to carry out his plan? Well, there are 2 answers. The first is if God was to start interfering with our lives, interfering with our decisions, good or bad, then where would it stop?

We know Sid Khan was basically plotting to murder people. What if God had read Sids mind when he started planning this? What if God just ended Sids life as soon as the thoughts began? Is there anyone who can tell me they haven’t thought about ‘murdering’ someone in the heat of the moment. Even spoken the threat out loud “I’m going to kill him…”? If God interrupted to take out any person who ever issued a threat or thought about doing wrong, I’m pretty sure people would start dropping dead everywhere, in the street and at work. If God did this, sure we would be safe, but there would be no people at all! We wouldn’t have had these people either:

Mother Teresa
Alfred Nobel (Nobel Peace Prize)
Stanley ‘Tookie’ Williams
St Paul

Since we know suicide bombers believe they are doing Gods work (just as Saul of Tarsus did), we can assume they also prayed to God, even before they carried out their malicious acts. What is to say that God has not already tried to appeal to these people on their way to the target?

Regardless, one thing the bible does make clear is that God could remove those destined to do evil, even stop them from being born. By his grace, he doesn’t, he allows them to live being patient. In other words, giving them a chance to repent and escape their destiny.

And by his grace, we all are allowed to live our lives.

[Asinine] The Da Vinci Code Ruined My Faith!

Ooooh Nooooo! Channel 5 will tomorrow expose the secret truth that I have tried to hide for 9 years as a born-again Christian! Supposedly this will rock the church and my faith.That’s right folks, it was never about studying the bible, personal experience, spirituality, conviction, bible evidence, working for the community, prayer, social action, worship or fellowship.

No, Gods purpose for the Church all along was to hide the fact and pretend that Jesus wasn’t married.What will the Church do now? Surely the whole institution will collapse, millions of believers everywhere will be left disillusioned. We will soon here testimonies such as:

“All my life there was something missing, I felt lost, confused and simply couldn’t move on until the Church told me that Jesus was married. Now I have discovered they have lied, I am no longer a believer and I feel let down.”

“The knowledge that Jesus wasn’t married helped me to beat my drug addiction and achieve my potential. All I can do now is go back to doing drugs.”

“Knowing that Jesus didn’t have any kids helped me to turn from a life of crime. Now I don’t know what I’ll do… I guess I’ll have to go back to mugging old ladies.”

So there you have it, 2000 years of careful scroll preservation, exposition, canonical scrutiny and debate, defeated by one, 500 year old painting.It doesn’t stop there. Since the discovery of the disciple to the left of Jesus in The Last Supper is, in actual fact, a woman, further revelations have been uncovered simply by staring at the painting:

• Jesus was white with long hair.
• 1st Century Jews sat on chairs with square tables and table-clothes, like 15th Century Italians.
• 1st Century Jews wore clothes similar to Italians of the 15th Century.
• Jewish women in the 1st Century wore mens clothing.
• 1st Century Jerusalem was a beacon of 15th Century Italian architecture.

So much for all that historical data and archeological discoveries, eh?

Of course people who believe in the truth of “The Da Vinci Code” will be of sound mind. They will be rational and unbiased in their evaluation of the evidence. They will have read historical texts and alternative theories and come to their own conclusion. They have probably already read at least one of the following:

The Case For Christ
Mere Christianity
Strong’s Concordance
The Bible

But why waste time reading those heavy books, when you can simply visit Milan, look at a painting and make an intelligent decision.

Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire

[Management Theory] The Peter Principle

I’m struggling with a philosophical question. Do you have to be a dickhead to be given promotions to management level, or do you evolve into a dickhead after promotion? I’m pondering this because I’ve been considering my position over the last few weeks. Looking at how the department is, and how The Clowns resignation was handled, I don’t see any signs of promotions or openings for me.

My current mix of education and skills seems to far overshadow my job and my pay. I took the job I’m in now because the IT Market was in recession when I left university, but now the IT sector seems to be growing again and I’m really feeling the urge to move.

[Blogidarity] New Offerings

Some new links I have to share with with you which I have found through other excellent blogs:

I Work With Fools – A blog where you can write in and share your nightmare stories of work hell. It’s a good place to let off steam if you don’t already use your blog or have a blog to do that.

I Am Livid – I thought my ranting was pretty vitriolic at times till I came upon Mr Angry;s blog. Still it’s a very funny read and some good observations, exactly what I like to see.

Gun Toting Liberal – I’m neither red or blue, the closest I would consider myself liberal with conservative values. I have to say that this is an excellent blog with some excellent commentary of US politics. I agree with a lot of things said by the GTL and it is very different from the typical left/right stances.

Ideal Government – A UK blog with articles on the present government and ideas on how it should be. Anyone who is concerned about ID cards, sweeping legislation and general mismanagement by New Labour should check this out.

Not Proud of Britain (But Would Like To Be) – Another UK blogger with political commentary which is pretty much summed up in the title. Short posts and easy to digest.

Whilst I’m at it, I would also like to credit some of my existing links, so hats off to:

Sojourners – I am currently reading a book by Jim Wallis called God’s Politics, and I’m finding it an excellent read. It’s helping to shape my own view of politics and culture.

Pepipoo – The best place to go for UK Motorists for advice on the law and their rights.

I Heart Irony – Rohan described himself (in my comments a while back) as a frustrated writer, which motivated him to start this blog. As a frustrated IT Monkey (and frustrated UK citizen), I can fully relate. This is also what makes his blog especially funny, witty and gives it edge. Keep it up Rohan, you’ve got good observational skills.

The Policemans Blog – PC Copperfield’s is the first blog I read, after spotting it a the national newspaper. This is the one that got me thinking of the idea of blogging out my frustrations. PC Copperfield opens the doors that are normally shut to the public and in doing so exposes the general bollotics that takes place at the higher levels of our police force. At the same time showing us that ordinary coppers are just like us and also share similar resentments to the target/statistic driven culture we all live in.

The Magistrates Blog – Another thought-provoking, revealing blog, this time into the closed world of the courts. Bystander affirms my faith that the courts are there to protect us and to allow us to be judged fairly and equally. Magistrates and Judges are people, they are appointed for our benefit. A lot of public organisations use the courts as a threat, as though it was just another part of the prison system. This is a wrong perception of justice and I am grateful for a blog like this.

You’re Nicked – Like PC Copperfield, Stan Still is one of the flourishing anonymous police blogs that are blowing the doors open on this institution. I find this blog thoughtful and intuitive.

Overheard in the Office – Short, funny dialogs between co-workers, managers and other company bods. This is always good for a quick chuckle during my lunch break.

In Training – This blog is by a girl who is engaged to a Royal Marine. As well as just personal experience, Kath offers quite a funny, energetic commentary on politics and culture of her country. Fiercely patriotic and ‘right wing’, she also shows an interest in UK politics and culture.

I do want to comment on other blogs and links, but for now I’m spent, so keep coming back to check!

[Cupid Stunt] David Blaine – Is There a Point?

The world’s strangest man, David Blaine has begun his latest stunt, seven days in a human aquarium. Already 2 days into the current stunt, he is already preparing for the next one and has put out some ideas for his faithful fans to vote.

We Brits gave David a rough ride when he performed his suspended glass box trick in London a couple of years ago, which is a shame. Whilst we don’t quite understand the necessity or exactly what point he is making, we must admire his determination against the affliction of compos mentis.

So to show your support for David, please take some time to vote on the next crazy trick he should perform:

• David Blaine to live in a Shipping Container full of manure for 40 days.
  Blaine will be sealed in the Shipping Container for 40 days with no food or water. He will survive by eating cowpat (cow-pie) and fresh water, which will be poured into the container from above mixing with the nutrition-packed excrement.
• David Blaine to sit in a cardboard box for 6 weeks without cameras, press or publicity.
  Admittedly a difficult stunt to pull off for Blaine, but he is confident that he can achieve it. “This will undoubtedly be one of the hardest things I have yet to achieve… Being a wacko while the cameras are around, has helped me to retain a certain level of dementedness. Who knows where the craziness will stop when they’re not there!”
• David Blaine to be locked in a large safe and dropped somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic.
  Whilst the safe will be watertight, it will also be airtight. Blaine will be surviving without food, water or air for as long as he can. If the stunt goes wrong, he will tap out a complex rhythm with his fingernails on the inside of the safe door. However apart from possibly attracting the attention of a passing dolphin, we doubt his safety crew will hear him.
• David Blaine to be locked up in Guantanamo indefinitely.
  Blaine will live indefinitely in a small cell in Guantanamo without access to press, lawyers or human rights.

Vote now!

Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire