[Gullibility Virus] Email Nostalgia

This Post Is Rated: F for Fun. Some good ol’ web 1.0 humour.

Seems like a day doesn’t go by that I don’t get an offer from Russian beauty Natasha, who is looking for love and wants to marry me, or the lawyer of the recently deceased Directory of Operation International Credit Settlement, Central Bank Of Nigeria, who wants to channel some funds through a Western bank account and cut me in on it. Then there is the just plain wierd German ones like this:

[Copywrong] Are You Aiding Criminal Activity?

Danny O’Brien of the Electronic Frontiers Foundation is giving a lecture “are you a Copyright Criminal”?

Have you ever…
…watched a video clip on YouTube?
…recorded a TV show to watch later?
…viewed Facebook from a school machine?
…written fan fiction?
…forwarded an email without permission?
…posted anonymously on a discussion site?
…downloaded or edited a mash-up?
…transferred a DVD to watch on your iPod?
…made a parody of a corporate logo?

Answer “yes”, and somebody out there already thinks you’re a criminal. And if it’s not already illegal, they’re out to ban it. – Danny O’Brien, Samara Lectures

[Londonland] Islampic Bid

I was sent this by a friend the other day:

Dear All

Take a second to cast your vote in the Evening Standard online poll to determine public opinion about whether a mega mosque should be build for the Olympics.

The vote so far is 62 % in favour. It looks like the Muslim community is casting its vote in droves, and as usual the Christians are burying their head in the sand.

After voting, forward this to as many people as you can (using the BCC field to avoid spam). Here’s the link:

<http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/poll/poll-18791-details/ques-18669-id/%C2%A3100m+mosque%3A+Vote+now/poll.do>http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/poll/poll-18791-details/ques-18669-id/%C2%A3100m+mosque%3A+Vote+now/poll.do

I can’t really understand why there are still some people out there that will forward these kinds of things on.

Personally if there was any choice I’d prefer to see the whole Olympics ditched. Sorry, Londonland does not deserve the Olympics much less a mega-mosque. In fact, I’m probably the only person who’d prefer to see a mega-mosque than an Olympic park to be honest.

[Fisking Bliar] This Is What He Really Meant

I am aware that many have already weighed in on the PM’s email, and given their response. I’ve been too busy screwing up his computer to provide a fearism, but I’ve finally got round to it.

Here is that email, comments in blue:

[Funny] If Post was Like Email

Everyday when you opened your mailbox there would be 30 pieces of junkmail waiting for you

If you wrote a letter that was too big the postman would either refuse to deliver it or deliver it very slowly Every now and then you may write a long letter and suddenly lose it and have to start writing it all over again

You would be able to write just one letter and the postman would send it to 60 of your friends and only charge you for the one letter

Conversations with your friends would go on weeks

Every now and then you would receive a letter that has been read and passed on by at least 100 people. The letter is warning you of another malicious letter that if opened would break all your windows, set fire to your furniture and/or remove all the cement from your building. The letter also advises that you make photocopies and send it to everyone you have an address for

The postman makes photocopies of all your letters

After the postman has read your all your letters, your friends mail-box is full and he brings back your letter saying that he couldn’t deliver it

You only have to write someone’s address once, the postman will remember all your friends and contacts addresses

No matter where you are in the world, the postman will still deliver on time to your door

Source Unknown

[Spam] Zombie Spammers

One thing that really gets on my tits, is those stupid email forwards. You know the ones, little Kirsty is dying of a major disease and she can only afford the operation if you to forward this email onto everyone including your dog. Or Bill Gates is giving his money away, just forward this on to everyone and your goldfish. The first time, years ago, I received an email like this, the first thing I did was look it up. Google wasn’t around then but Yahoo and Altavista were (still are). Straight away you can find out what you need to know.

10-15 years on and I still get these emails every now and then – “It’s probably not true, but I could do with the cash”. Sometimes I just want to slap them in the face but unfortunately these are friends and I can’t do that (especially as some are bigger than me). Wherever possible, with my uninformed friends, I try to take the time (which they didn’t) to find a worthy source, and REPLY ALL with a link, informing them of their error.

What really grates me is the fact that people genuine common sense and intelligence seems to go out the window when it comes to email. I mean, can you imagine the postman knocking your door one morning and gave you a mail which said

” Bill Gates wants to give you his money. Just Photocopy this letter 100 times and post it to all your friends and family, then wait for the checks to pour in…”

You would screw it up, dismiss it and perhaps put in a complaint to the Postal Service. Yet an email arrives, no postage paid, no verifiable source, and immediately we are motivated into action, “whatever it takes”, I’m just doing my part to make sure Kirsty gets her organ.

The problem with these emails is that they play on our apathy and greed. See, it costs nothing to send an email, and at the same time you can get the warm feeling inside that you have done your part to make the world a better place. Never mind the sacrifice it takes to help someone in need, the problems that people experience in real life. No we don’ t really care, but we want to feel like we care, to feel like we are doing something. This is only matched by our greed, Wow someone is giving money away? I’ll have some of that. Again, what does it matter about hard work, creating your own opportunities and taking responsibility for your own actions?

Unfortunately it seems the battle for intelligence over technology seems to be losing. This lack of acumen seems to have invaded the realm of text messaging now. The other day I received a text message from another well-meaning friend:

WELL MEANING BUT DUMB FRIEND:
Just recevd this FWD: Pls pray for Pastor Ferdie Flores, missionary in East Timor.he is going to be executed tomorrow by beating.Pls forward to all Christians (sic)

ME:
Hi WMBDF, do you have any details? How do you know he isn’t dead already and that this text wasn’t circulated yesterday?

WMBDF:
Hi ALEX, cant be over sure although quite a few people got text at same time. . Not sure how we will find out?

Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire