Abandon All Fear

What nobody else seems to be saying…

Archive for February, 2007

[I’m A Christian…] Get Me Out Of Here! 2

Posted by Lex Fear on February 28, 2007

Welcome to the 2nd edition of “I’m A Christian, Get Me Out Of Here”. Each edition I’ll be posting a scenario featuring a hot potato for christians to consider. Your responses in the comments:

A close friend comes back from university and announces he’s engaged to a woman 20 years his senior.

At no point can you call out “I’m a christian… get me out of here”.

Posted in Dark Side of the Light, I'm A Christian... | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

[Anti-Terrorists] Government Representation

Posted by Lex Fear on February 28, 2007

Have you ever heard of a government that represents and considers the welfare of it’s people?

Posted in Anti-Terrorists, Justice & Mercy, Morals & Ethics, Realpolitik, Xenophobia | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

[Takeback] The Public 1 HSBC 0

Posted by Lex Fear on February 28, 2007

It’s about time one of the Dragons finally had their teeth knocked out and the smile wiped off it’s face.

If you have been reading the MSM and considering whether you should take a shot yourself, join the millions who have already have.

If you need to know where to start, try these links:

BBC How To
This is Money
Consumer Action Group Forums
Times Online

and you can get more by googling “claim back unfair charges”.

Do it… Now!

Posted in Bad Company, Bank Robbers, Justice & Mercy, Profiteering, Takeback, Uncircumcised Philistines | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

[Jokes] Speaking of the Germans…

Posted by Lex Fear on February 27, 2007

Are these jokes racist?

A Glossary of English/German Motoring Terms

Indicators: Die Blinkenleiten Tickentocken
Bonnet (Hood): Die Pullnob und knucklechopper
Exhaust : Der Spitzenpoppenbangentuben

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Anecdotes, Ha-has | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

[Anecdotes] Health and Safety Concern

Posted by Lex Fear on February 27, 2007

Time to share with you one of the memorable moments of the New Year.

Walking the streets of Munich at 23:45 on December 31st 2006 was a refreshing experience. Minimal police presence (by UK standards), crowds of people walking around clutching commercial size (UK illegal) fireworks in one hand, matches in the other. I must admit that they can be a little odd but the Deutschlanders sure know how to live it up ‘Mr Invincible’ style.

Standing on the balcony of D’s apartment, 4 floors up overlooking the street, I tried to count how many H&S infringements were taking place at one time in the street below.

Small firecrackers were being lobbed into the street as cars drove by, whilst the braver of the Barbarian Bavarians held the commercial fireworks in their hands as they set them off. Much beer was consumed which left plenty of spare bottles for the non-immortals to balance their rockets in. Occasionally the odd bottle would tip over and the rocket headed into the crowd of hammered Bavarians, funnily, it didn’t seem to upset the dogs that were present.

Rockets shot past the balcony, one even passing by my feet, exploding just meters away from the balcony. Quite an awesome sight to be staring straight across at exploding fireworks, as opposed to ground level.

As the night wore on me and D retired to watch CNN with a bottle of Erdinger each.

Posted in Anecdotes | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

[Churchianity] The Purpose Driven Fisherman

Posted by Lex Fear on February 26, 2007

Is a person a fisherman if year after year he never catches any fish?

Now it came to pass that a group existed who called themselves fishermen. And lo, there were many fish in the waters all around. In fact, the whole area was surrounded by streams and lakes filled with fish. And the fish were hungry.

Week after week, month after month, and year after year these men, who called themselves fishermen, met in meetings and talked about their call to fish, the abundance of fish, and how they might go about fishing. Year after year they carefully defined what fishing meant, defended fishing as an occupation, and declared that fishing is always to be a primary task of fishermen.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Analogies, Churchianity, Dark Side of the Light, The Purpose Missing Church | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

[Blogidarity] Sidekicks

Posted by Lex Fear on February 26, 2007

No good blogging hero would be complete without a sidekick (apart from Batman, Alex has always insisted he should work alone).

So I am promoting the first 2 sidekicks in the fight against tyranny. To become a sidekick, all you have to do is mention Alex Fear or AAF in a post or on your website, write lots of comments or do something interesting. Sidekick status may be applied retroactively, since we are now in a post-Post Zero era. However if you haven’t been retconned into a sidekick and feel you should, then drop me a comment.

Behold the sidekicks:

The Mocker A supporter of Abandon All Fear since stumbling across the blog pre-Post Zero. Ed is driven by the quest to find the funny in tech and news. He has written favourably about AAF twice!. Therefore he has proven loyalty and commitment to good over evil, even if his methods are questionable).

The Incredible Growing Man: Steve seeks to live a provocative life style. Fighting luke warmness wherever he finds it, he challenges people in what they believe, encouraging them to pursue Christ. Also a friend of AAF.

Keep up the good work.

Posted in Blogidarity, Metablog | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

[Blog Reboot] Post Zero

Posted by Lex Fear on February 25, 2007

As you can see AAF has undergone some major retconning. Alex Fear has been fully realised.

He doesn’t apologise for the new comic feel of AAF, and before anyone makes assumptions it is not inspired by another excellent new US import. His obsession with superheroes began a long time ago with the likes of Judge Dredd, Batman and Swamp Thing, to name a just a few.

The good news, as you may have sussed, is that I now has broadband once again. Pipex came to my rescue when TalkTalk FailFailed.

However, this still does not mean normal blogging will resume straight away. As you know I also now has a wife, whose powers of persuasion far exceed my own.

Posted in Bad Company, Buyer Beware, Holding Actions, Metablog | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

[Funny] If Post was Like Email

Posted by Lex Fear on February 25, 2007

Everyday when you opened your mailbox there would be 30 pieces of junkmail waiting for you

If you wrote a letter that was too big the postman would either refuse to deliver it or deliver it very slowly Every now and then you may write a long letter and suddenly lose it and have to start writing it all over again

You would be able to write just one letter and the postman would send it to 60 of your friends and only charge you for the one letter

Conversations with your friends would go on weeks

Every now and then you would receive a letter that has been read and passed on by at least 100 people. The letter is warning you of another malicious letter that if opened would break all your windows, set fire to your furniture and/or remove all the cement from your building. The letter also advises that you make photocopies and send it to everyone you have an address for

The postman makes photocopies of all your letters

After the postman has read your all your letters, your friends mail-box is full and he brings back your letter saying that he couldn’t deliver it

You only have to write someone’s address once, the postman will remember all your friends and contacts addresses

No matter where you are in the world, the postman will still deliver on time to your door

Source Unknown

Posted in Ha-has | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

[Poetry] They Stood and Watched

Posted by Lex Fear on February 25, 2007

It had been a cold morning
Even they felt it
As the insensate beings gathered in the fields outside the city
Their master had given them one command
Do not interfere

There were millions of them
Legions upon legions
Extending far back into the valley of Hinnom and beyond
They encircled the city
They stood, waiting, watching the city walls
Their movements were graceful
Without speed or haste
The atmosphere was a blend of compassion and dread
They swarmed the streets of the city
Walking slowly, softly, in gallant strides with reluctance
The streets were silent as the people went about their daily business

As they began to slow and take their positions
A large crowd slowly appeared
The people of the city began to turn their heads and yell
A small breeze drifting between the buildings interrupted the stillness
As the crowd grew larger, their master’s only begotten could now be seen
A group of the spiritual beings gathered around him inside the crowd
He was tired, weak, weary, beaten, spat on and bleeding
They could feel the intense power and warmth flowing from him

He carried two wooden planks very slowly towards Golgotha
The mouths of the crowd spilled bitter hate
The wood had been bound in the fashion of a cross
And it began to press down on him
As he passed them, every one of the masters army straightened up to attention
And every one of their hearts,
Filled with compassion,
Fought vigorously against their will, stretching out towards him
Every part of their spirit being, yearned to go to the son
Like a tree that is blown by the strongest of winds
Desperate to yield to the powerful breeze
Yet it’s roots keep it held down in the ground
With one word from their master they would go to his side
Even before it had finished being spoken
They would tear the cross apart like paper and lift him up

He began to stumble
And one of them gently brushed the shoulder of a roman officer with its hand
The soldier seized a man and made him carry the cross
The ones that waited in the fields outside the city could now see him
Silently they began to straighten up and looked on
Millions of hearts now began to ache
As the people nailed his hands and feet to the wood
His figure began to transform
And as the people erected the cross it was more visible
The angels that had waited in the fields outside the city watched silently
As people passed by and came out to look
And fired arrows from their mouths at the masters son

By midday his figure had transformed fully
The only thing that remained visibly holy was his spirit
The only thing that still showed he belonged to his father
And because his figure had transformed
Into something that was now evil and detestable
His father could no longer look upon him
And so he began to turn his back

When the Lord had fully turned his back on his son
The heavens closed up, and the sky became dark
The darkness seemed to last forever
Nothing moved as the people of the city went about their daily lives
The son then lifted up his head and cried out
“Father, father, why have you abandoned me?!”
But the Lord did not hear his sons pleas
For his back was turned
Then the son gave up his spirit and cried
“It is finished”
And his body died

The heavens opened and sunlight poured down
Two of the angels waiting at the temple tore down the curtains
As the sunlight poured down, the angels in the fields began to mourn
Some wept loudly, Some cried out in their own languages,
And some sang lamentations in sweet soothing voices
Others pounded the earth and shook it violently
Graves opened up and the bedlam woke the sleepers
And the soul of the son departed

A group came after a short while and took the body down
The Lord had given two Angels a command
They followed the body
The people took it to the tomb where they buried it
And there they sat
For three days

Posted in Anecdotes, Dark Side of the Light, Everything Else | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »