Abandon All Fear

What nobody else seems to be saying…

Posts Tagged ‘asinine’

[Blasphemy] Blasphemically Challenged

Posted by Lex Fear on June 7, 2007

I’ve been meaning to blog about this one for a while since it appeared on BoingBoing

“It’s simple. You record a short message damning yourself to Hell, you upload it to YouTube, and then the Rational Response Squad will send you a free The God Who Wasn’t There DVD. It’s that easy…

You may damn yourself to Hell however you would like, but somewhere in your video you must say this phrase: “I deny the Holy Spirit.”

Why? Because, according to Mark 3:29 in the Holy Bible, “Whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin.” Jesus will forgive you for just about anything, but he won’t forgive you for denying the existence of the Holy Spirit. Ever. This is a one-way road you’re taking here.” – The Blasphemy Challenge

It’s a shame to have to ruin all their hard work by interceding:

“Father forgive them; they don’t know what they are doing.” – Luke 23:34

I’m not really going to delve much into this topic, suffice to say that I am almost certain that only believers can blaspheme the Holy Spirit, since it is a matter of the heart and not of words or deeds:

“Then Peter said, ‘Ananias, why have you let Satan fill your heart? You lied to the Holy Spirit, and you kept some of the money for yourself. The property was yours to sell or not sell, as you wished. And after selling it, the money was also yours to give away. How could you do a thing like this? You weren’t lying to us but to God!

As soon as Ananias heard these words, he fell to the floor and died. Everyone who heard about it was terrified.” – Acts 5:3-5

“Judas, the one who betrayed him, realized that Jesus was doomed. Overcome with remorse, he gave back the thirty silver coins to the high priests, saying, “I’ve sinned. I’ve betrayed an innocent man.”

They said, “What do we care? That’s your problem!”

Judas threw the silver coins into the Temple and left. Then he went out and hung himself.” – Matthew 27:3-5

But I think this video posted on the counter-site, Challenge Blasphemy explains it better than I ever could in a hilarious and brilliant way. There is a hint of ‘Andy Kaufman’ comic genius in passtheaura. Look out for the salt-shaker*, points for guessing as to what this subtle Easter egg is alluding to.

*If you’re really struggling, go to the direct YouTube posting and read the comments.

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Posted in Apologetics, Dark Side of the Light, Duh!, Laymans Theology, Uncircumcised Philistines, Video, Warring Memes | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

[Asinine] The Dog Vinci Code

Posted by Lex Fear on March 25, 2007

If Da Vinci was trying to drop the marriage bomb on us, what is this artist trying to say?


I’m no historian, but it looks like the one on the right of Jesus is not a disciple but in fact…. a dog!

Referral: BoingBoing

Posted in Analogies, Apologetics, Ha-has | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

[Asinine] What A Load Of…

Posted by Lex Fear on March 15, 2007

Private equity good for the economy? Reuters reckons they’re talking bollocks.

Read the headline…

Posted in Bollotics, Ha-has, Predatory Systems, Profiteering | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

[Hitchcock Presents…] The Pigeons!

Posted by Lex Fear on December 16, 2006

What would Alfred Hitchcock make of this?

Read all of the comments!

Posted in Ha-has | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

[Xenophobia] An Immigration Problem – Part 1

Posted by Lex Fear on December 3, 2006

“I’m sick of being in a country led by a fascist government that uses fear and headlines to control the populace. This country wreaks of institutional paranoia…”

There is a real problem with immigration in this country, and I’m not talking about the intelligent people who want to come here to study or to work, I’m talking about the Immigration “Service” and the Home Office.

I find it difficult to be a good citizen at the best of times, but I realise more and more how difficult this government make it to be proud of Not-So-Great Britain. I’m sick of being in a country led by a fascist government that uses fear and headlines to control the populace. This country wreaks of institutional paranoia, and none so much as Immigration.

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Posted in Absolute Power, Anecdotes, Anti-Terrorists, Bollotics, Databases, Doublespeak, Justice & Mercy, Little Hitlers, Predatory Systems, Propaganda, Realpolitik, Uncircumcised Philistines, Xenophobia | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

[Satire] Read My Niqab

Posted by Lex Fear on October 7, 2006


I’m considering wearing a bucket on my head when I have to speak to people outside my church.

If they can’t understand what I’m saying due to the reverberations of my voice in the bucket, or get conflicting messages because they can’t read my expressions, I will then accuse them of failing to understand my beliefs, being racist, anti-Christian and creating a divide between me and them.

After I live in a democratic country where I am free to express my beliefs and opinions and it’s an expression of my religious freedom to wear a bucket on my head. I can communicate my ideas quite clearly with a bucket on my head, and if people refuse to understand then they are obviously fascists.

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Posted in Dark Side of the Light, Ha-has, Morals & Ethics, Opinion, Pharisees, The Religious Wrong | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

[Spam] Iraq, Iraq, Iraq, The Eagle and the Koran (sic)

Posted by Lex Fear on October 3, 2006

A new and creative Urban Legend is making it’s way around the internet. D did the thoughtful thing of emailing me a copy as she knows I have a good Bullshat detector (kind of like a Bullshit detector but not as abrasive).

The email is as follows (100’s of email forward addresses removed), however I have interlaced it with my own observations:

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Posted in Anecdotes, Dark Side of the Light, Dorks, Propaganda, Spam Poetry, The Religious Wrong, Uncircumcised Philistines | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

[Asinine] Nuns don’t have ‘G-Spot’ – Scientists Say

Posted by Lex Fear on August 30, 2006

Canadian scientists have put to rest the theories that Nuns have a “God-spot” in their brains.

Plans are already in motion for their next big research project: Dissecting 5 AOG Ministers to test the theory that there is a ‘God or Jesus-shaped’ hole in each of our hearts.

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Posted in Dark Side of the Light, Duh!, Ha-has, Religion & Science | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

[Solutions] Well Thought Out Concepts

Posted by Lex Fear on May 16, 2006

June 1st – Accident Free Day

That’s right, the company I work for, Politico, has come up with this brilliant idea for tackling the high level of accidents that happen in our industry. Another fine example of a managers typical ineffective response to a real problem.

I don’t know about you but when I wake up in the morning, I always intend to have an accident-free day. Is it just me or do people go to work thinking, ‘I’ll have an accident this morning, then maybe another one just before the end of my shift’?

See the problem with accidents is they’re accidents! They’re unplanned! How the hell do you go about planning an ‘accident-free day’?

Why stop at one day, why don’t we just declare an ‘Accident Free Day’ everyday of the year? We’d save a heck of a lot of money on insurance and perhaps we’d be able to do away with all those premiums altogether!

Politico Employee Survey

Apparently we are one of the top organisations in the country. It’s all down to this cleverly worded employee survey they put out a few months ago. Some of the responses included:

  • 89% of you feel you have a secure future at the company. Meaning: I will not be promoted and I have no hope of finding a job elsewhere.
  • 81% of you value the help that training provides. Meaning: If we were provided training it would be a help us do our jobs properly, rather than just relying on finding someone who knows how to do something.
  • 79% of you feel fully involved in the company. Meaning: They call my mobile if I’m on holiday.
  • 75% of you would recommend Politico to others as an employer… to avoid.

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Posted in Anecdotes, Ha-has, Propaganda, Uncircumcised Philistines | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

[Asinine] The Da Vinci Code Ruined My Faith!

Posted by Lex Fear on May 10, 2006

Ooooh Nooooo! Channel 5 will tomorrow expose the secret truth that I have tried to hide for 9 years as a born-again Christian! Supposedly this will rock the church and my faith.That’s right folks, it was never about studying the bible, personal experience, spirituality, conviction, bible evidence, working for the community, prayer, social action, worship or fellowship.

No, Gods purpose for the Church all along was to hide the fact and pretend that Jesus wasn’t married.What will the Church do now? Surely the whole institution will collapse, millions of believers everywhere will be left disillusioned. We will soon here testimonies such as:

“All my life there was something missing, I felt lost, confused and simply couldn’t move on until the Church told me that Jesus was married. Now I have discovered they have lied, I am no longer a believer and I feel let down.”

“The knowledge that Jesus wasn’t married helped me to beat my drug addiction and achieve my potential. All I can do now is go back to doing drugs.”

“Knowing that Jesus didn’t have any kids helped me to turn from a life of crime. Now I don’t know what I’ll do… I guess I’ll have to go back to mugging old ladies.”

So there you have it, 2000 years of careful scroll preservation, exposition, canonical scrutiny and debate, defeated by one, 500 year old painting.It doesn’t stop there. Since the discovery of the disciple to the left of Jesus in The Last Supper is, in actual fact, a woman, further revelations have been uncovered simply by staring at the painting:

  • Jesus was white with long hair.
  • 1st Century Jews sat on chairs with square tables and table-clothes, like 15th Century Italians.
  • 1st Century Jews wore clothes similar to Italians of the 15th Century.
  • Jewish women in the 1st Century wore mens clothing.
  • 1st Century Jerusalem was a beacon of 15th Century Italian architecture.

So much for all that historical data and archeological discoveries, eh?

Of course people who believe in the truth of “The Da Vinci Code” will be of sound mind. They will be rational and unbiased in their evaluation of the evidence. They will have read historical texts and alternative theories and come to their own conclusion. They have probably already read at least one of the following:

The Case For Christ
Mere Christianity
Strong’s Concordance
The Bible

But why waste time reading those heavy books, when you can simply visit Milan, look at a painting and make an intelligent decision.

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Posted in Apologetics, Dark Side of the Light, Duh!, Ha-has, Uncircumcised Philistines, Warring Memes | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »