[Small Print] Terms & Conditions In The Bible

“…there are well known verses of the bible that continuously repeated, often for justification for some of the most horrendous acts of injustice and oppression.”

I once took out a graduate loan from HSBC Bank. I was offered the loan insurance with it, and it was sold to me as part of the loan. Later, I got hold of some information on loan insurance offered by banks and found out that not only do you have a choice about taking it, they charge a much higher premium than an insurance company would offer, and it doesn’t even cover you for the whole term of the loan.

I felt cheated, so I decided to take a trip to HSBC and ask them to remove the insurance. Unfortunately it turned out that I was outside the 14 day ‘change your mind’ period. I protested that I had not used the insurance and I did not need it or want it, but it was no good. See, it was all there in the Terms & Conditions.

How many times do we sign up for things without reading the Ts & Cs? Anyone with an email address right now has at least done it once. Everyday there are forms to sign and transactions take place which need our signature or authorisation and we give it without a second thought. But when it matters most, that’s where you’ll find the small print that will either confirm your position or dismiss it.

But it’s not just financial contracts that we find Ts & Cs, I find that this all relates to scriptures too. Just like the big bold advertisements displaying lowest ‘interest rate ever’, ‘flexible account’ and ‘best value for money’, there are well known verses of the bible that continuously repeated, often for justification for some of the most horrendous acts of injustice and oppression.

That’s why I’ve compiled a list of some examples of verses often ‘advertised’ (taken out of context) and the ‘Ts & Cs’ which are often overlooked:

Contract/Obligation:
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV
Small Print:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:25-33 NIV

Contract/Obligation:
“You children must always obey your parents, for this is what pleases the Lord.” Collossians 3:20 NLT
Small Print:
“Fathers, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.” Collossians 3:21 NLT

More to follow…

Tags: Abandon All Fear Terms and Conditions Oppression Injustice bible God Jesus HSBC Wives Husbands ParentsChildren

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[Kickbacks] How To Use Your Position To Get Kickbacks

Two weeks to go till The Clown departs. I’ve mentioned in an earlier post how we joked for a long time he was working on his own business from home when he called in to tell us he was “working from home”- which turned out he was! Well another joke became reality last week.

Since The Clown handed in his resignation he’s been using up his holidays (naturally) and his sick days (yes that’s right- sick days), and generally any days he has been working, he has been using up in customer visits. He’s even been asked to be in the office to hand over major accounts and projects, but it seems he sees it as vital to visit as many customers as possible, rather than us who will be taking over with the customers.

[IT Monkey] Another Imposter!

Editors Note: This is a post transferred from my old blog, it cracks me up to read again when I had not long started so I decided to keep it – LF.

Since changing the name of my blog to the more fitting The IT Monkey, I have found several imposters, some who have not even posted and others so mundane you actually wished they had not posted.

The latest imposter is the so-called “IT Monkey” using the url: itmonkey.blogspot.com.

“IT Monkey” has only ever posted once – October 2005 (just before I started my blog), ironically entitled “Why am i here?”. Yes, that’s the question we’re asking! He goes on to further elaborate “that’s a good question. I have always liked to read a blog or two, but never really thought about doing it myself, until now.” He then obviously never really thought about doing it again either.

At least it’s only 1 post. I mean some people write pages of this drivel.. I’ve discovered since starting this blog its a lot of hard work to keep updated. Please. Please if you’ve going to blog, blog something interesting, spare us the personal anguish of having to scan through:

• Images of your naked 2 year old in the bath. I’m not a paedophile and I do not want to be put in a compromised position.
• It’s painful enough when you have nothing interesting to say, let alone when you put it in incomprehensible textspeak.
• Heavy advertising.. blogs with more cookies than a Tescos bakery.
• Pictures of you and your dumb friends.
• Those Annoying “Make Poverty History” banners. All I want to do is click ‘Next Blog>>’ and I can’t even do that.

Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire