[Spam Poetry] Refuted

Another edition for my new section capturing the evolving culture of spam, achieving in years, what a dozen monkeys and typewriter couldn’t do in 60 billion.

Salve,

Hohe hoholulu

Become of tranquil soul. When a person abstains of their
nuptialsong. The night fell, shrouded who had vanquished
all the celestials with the the money i had taken from it
to my father’s purse, productive of grief. When bonds are
severed or of the impotently dumb. Rescued in the nick of
sprinkler. Fortune placed the ring in the basin, that might
be said but perhaps it could be better expectant of loving
regards from all her husbands for joy to see thee after
long absence all the also are very much smaller than those
of good jambu. Here hath been described the great depression
wheel, making circles from right to left. The begets upon
a spouse taken from the one order my wife first taught me
the knowledge of god,.
Martinolli Swor

There’s something elegant in the way author describes the nuptialsong. I haven’t really heard anyone describe the nuptialsong in this way. You can see a lot of time went into this work of art. It’s as though Swor is trying to communicate something, using a mixture of old and contemporary english words, and failing.

When The Cure Is Worse Than The Disease

I suffer from problems with my sinuses which cause me to sneeze at the slightest change in atmosphere. Bright sunlight can do it, sometimes just walking into another room will set me off into a sneezing fit. I believe it may be related to asthma I developed when I was 3 but my mother refused to give me an inhaler because she had read people can become addicted. At least I don’t have trouble breathing.

I was told by a doctor that due to the type of sensitive lining I have on the inside of my nose, I can’t get the problem fixed. I’ve tried meds, I’ve tried prayer and having hands laid on me, heck I even laid hands on myself but to no avail. The only thing I’ve found on the market that works is Benadryl.

It was then I discovered a couple of years ago a user called luckbeawierdo posted his testimonial on how to cure your asthma or hayfever using hookworm.

Walking barefoot in soil contaminated with feces (the source of hookworm eggs/larvae) is the most common method of exposure. The other is inadvertent ingestion of contaminated feces. Note that the hookworm cannot proliferate in your gut, you can only increase your infestation level by coming into skin contact with larvae or ingesting contaminated feces. After skin penetration, the venous circulation carries larvae to the pulmonary bed, where they lodge in pulmonary capillaries. Within 3-5 days, the larvae break through into alveoli and travel up the ciliary escalator from the lungs into the bronchi, the trachea, and the pharynx. This often causes a violent cough such as I experienced. It woke me up, continued for about two hours and was so violent at its peak that I vomited into my mouth.

Please follow the link, it’s well worth reading the whole fascinating story, particularly if you are a sufferer like me.

Still, I think I’ll be sticking to benadryl and prayer.

That 3am Phone Call

Regrettably I haven’t weighed in much on the Democratic primary race between Obama and Clinton, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot to say about the subject. As a Brit I don’t get to vote on which President gets to decide on which policies our Prime Minister implements, but for what it’s worth I’m backing Obama.

Like God, I don’t claim to be a conservative or a liberal (but maybe more liberal leaning), so when I vote, it’s usually for who I think will do the least harm, or even just to get the current incumbent out.

Anyone who has been reading my blog for a long time will know my feelings about politics and the current President. I think the Bush administration has done incredible damage to America’s reputation, it’s economy, international relations and of course to citizens in various parts of the Middle East. America is a great nation, but the Bush Administration, especially men like Dick Cheney remind us of how easy it is to turn to the dark side.

That’s why I’m hoping for Obama to win. Not because I think he’s perfect, or that he doesn’t have faults, but it’s that he is promoting hope, change, he’s not resorting to negative campaigning and most importantly he is not relying on the politics of fear. It’s safe to say, that if Obama gets in the we may just see the end of this fallacious and idiotic War on Terror and most certainly the politics of fear.

It’s the politics of fear that were the motivation behind what is becoming known as Clintons’ ‘3am Call’. There’s a phone ringing in the white house, America is under attack again (presumably by motivated by the thoughts of a black Democrat winning) and who do you want to answer that call? Well, it seems like the little (now big) girl whose stock footage was used in that ad wants Obama to be the one answering it:

I’m not even going to comment on the damage that Hillary Clinton is doing to her own party and the Democrats chances of beating the Republicans for the White House. If you want some good commentary then add The Osterley Times to your rss reader.

For both myself and my wife there is something sinister about Hillary Clinton, an insincerity that comes across and is affirmed by her forced smile, her desperation and her rhetoric. In a comment to kel over at The Osterley Times I mentioned that I’d prefer to see McCain in the White House over Clinton. However I certainly don’t see McCain as any better. If McCain becomes President, he’ll make Bush seem like a man of wisdom and integrity. So I guess I’d rather not see McCain or Clinton in the White House, I think I’ll just despair.

Finally, I’m surprised not more people have picked up on this but when I first heard about Hillarys’ 3am Call and the question “Who do you want answering that call?”, the image in my head was not the one of Hillary picking up the phone above, but of this:

So for those that still buy into the politics of fear -and clearly many residents in Texas and Ohio still do- when that 3am call arrives and is picked up, do you want the President to tear up and get emotional or take affirmative action?

This Is Such Bullshit

“The world is moving fast to figure out how to reduce emissions with the help of technology. It has done far less to help poor people adapt. The report, “Indigenous and Traditional Peoples and Climate Change,” includes a kind of catalog of climate-related suffering already occurring among the poorest people of the earth.

In western Nicaragua, climate change has left villages cut off from crucial supplies, since the river that served as their supply road is too low to navigate anymore. “Basic supplies such as salt and drinking water can no longer reach the villages,” the report says. “In addition, the low volume of water means that pollution becomes concentrated and people are more susceptible to cholera and tuberculosis.” – The Herald Tribune: Poor are sidelined on climate change

20 years ago we would be trying to find solutions to help people affected by their environment, either by moving them, or teaching them new skills, building infrastructure.. today we simply stare at the situation and go “there.. that’s climate change.. that’s what it’s doing”.

That’s right folks, before 2006 the earth never suffered from floods, earthquakes, droughts, hurricanes, ice-ages or warming. Before 2006 we always had one season (at least it seems that way in the UK), why just the other day I was affected by a new side-effect of climate change called “Winter”, and the forecast is there is more “Winter” on the way, followed by “Spring” and “Summer”. Oh what shall we do?

The real crime that is happening in the developing world is that environMENTALISTS are denying the poor cheap and easy solutions to their problems because they’re not green enough.

Of course there is one good thing that comes from blaming climate change on the problems faced by the poor… it clears our conscience of the guilt associated with our luxurious Western lifestyles. Basically, if I can switch off that bedroom light whilst I’m not using it, I’m doing a ‘poor little African’ a favour.

The UK where I currently reside, is a country obsessed with fads whilst at the same time being the most conceited nation on earth for thinking it’s leading the way, when reality is the UK is years behind in trends, innovation and technology than Europe, even the US and Australia.

Therefore I’ll make a prediction. By mid 2009, if not sooner, environMENTALISM will no longer be ‘in’ and something else will have replaced it as the number one political issue. Mark my words.

Coercion

Still believe the government has your best interests at heart? Still believe you are in a democracy? The governments methods are clearer than ever with regards to introducing law and policy: Propagate, Designate, Subvert, Undermine, Deviate and keep the Proles happy.

Read Stef’s post: coercion.

“If there is hope, it lies in the proles” – George Orwell