[Heroes] Fax Off

This has to be one of my favourite stories of 2008:

OK. Fine by me. One great advantage of my VOIP provider (Primus, for anyone who cares) is that their base package includes many interesting features, including the possibility to redirect any number to another. Thirty seconds later, I had the fax number redirected to the receptionist’s number.

From: The Consumerist.

See my previous post on Culture Wars – dealing with corporate bullshit.

Technorati Tags: fax, consumerist, voip, receptionist, culture wars, corporations, 2008, junk mail, spam

[Gullibility Virus] Email Nostalgia

This Post Is Rated: F for Fun. Some good ol’ web 1.0 humour.

Seems like a day doesn’t go by that I don’t get an offer from Russian beauty Natasha, who is looking for love and wants to marry me, or the lawyer of the recently deceased Directory of Operation International Credit Settlement, Central Bank Of Nigeria, who wants to channel some funds through a Western bank account and cut me in on it. Then there is the just plain wierd German ones like this:

[Vista Flop] Watching The World Pass By…

… and not blogging about it is easier than I thought. I’ve plateaued and I can’t seem to muster the motivation to start a topic.

But it’s not like I haven’t been busy. I’ve been writing a lot of letters recently- which I will post later. I’ve also been experimenting with GIMP (which is the open source alternative to Photoshop). I’m aiming to spice up the graphics and interactivity on the website a little if I can.

I should mention how the Vista upgrade went. It was part of the offer from PC World when I bought my Packard-Bell (or as Mrs Fear would correct me- our Packard-Bell). Windows Vista Home Premium took about 3 or 4 hours to uprgrade and I have to say it was disappointing at first.

[Londonland] Islampic Bid

I was sent this by a friend the other day:

Dear All

Take a second to cast your vote in the Evening Standard online poll to determine public opinion about whether a mega mosque should be build for the Olympics.

The vote so far is 62 % in favour. It looks like the Muslim community is casting its vote in droves, and as usual the Christians are burying their head in the sand.

After voting, forward this to as many people as you can (using the BCC field to avoid spam). Here’s the link:

<http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/poll/poll-18791-details/ques-18669-id/%C2%A3100m+mosque%3A+Vote+now/poll.do>http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/poll/poll-18791-details/ques-18669-id/%C2%A3100m+mosque%3A+Vote+now/poll.do

I can’t really understand why there are still some people out there that will forward these kinds of things on.

Personally if there was any choice I’d prefer to see the whole Olympics ditched. Sorry, Londonland does not deserve the Olympics much less a mega-mosque. In fact, I’m probably the only person who’d prefer to see a mega-mosque than an Olympic park to be honest.

[Spam] Iraq, Iraq, Iraq, The Eagle and the Koran (sic)

A new and creative Urban Legend is making it’s way around the internet. D did the thoughtful thing of emailing me a copy as she knows I have a good Bullshat detector (kind of like a Bullshit detector but not as abrasive).

The email is as follows (100’s of email forward addresses removed), however I have interlaced it with my own observations:

[Jobspam] Joan Jenkins has a Fantastic Opportunity!

A while ago I blogged about an email I received from Joan Jenkins (joan@pjjenks.com). I had received the email in response to my CV which I had not even uploaded to the internet.

My post generated a lot of interest, I ranked quite high on google for search terms like “joan jenkins” and “pjjenks”. I guess there were others like me, who had received this email and wondered what it was all about. Unfortunately www.pjjenks.com only rendered a blank page- so they had me to fill them in!

The letter in brief promises:

“…to to make you aware of a home based business opportunity with our company, which now operates in 62 countries around the world and which has been trading successfully for over 25 years in the Network Marketing Industry.” (1)

and they want you to know…

“…this business opportunity, which is completely genuine…” (2)

and urges you to

“…reply to us on the above e-mail address and we will supply you with the detail required for you to fully research our offer.” (3)

I got home tonight and discovered that someone had left a fresh comment on that old post on my old abandoned blog. Even stranger, the comment sounded like something I’ve read before. I’ve added my own emphasis and referenced the original quotes above…

“I responded to a similar advert – the best thing I ever did. (2) It’s a genuine opportunity, requiring hard work and brings the rewards in line with effort. Would strongly urge people to (3) request further information in order to conduct their own research into a (1) multi-billion dollar listed company.” – By Anonymous, at 5:27 Pm

So I’m posting an open response to that anonymous commenter:

Dear Joan,

Thanks for leaving a comment on the blog I no longer update. I encourage you to comment here, as I am certain that googling your name will start to point people towards this blog.

It sounds like a fine offer, unfortunately no-one seems to know what it is. May I advise taking some of those millions of dollars and at least investing in a website?

I’m intrigued as to how a worldwide company operates 62 countries around the world without a website in this day and age.

So, accepting your offer as real and genuine, as you say, I can only summise that the business you operate is:

a) Mafia related
b) Drug running
c) People smuggling
d) Arms trade
e) 2 or more of the above

Looking forward to hearing from you. You have my CV so you should find it quite easy to contact me.

Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire ITM Politik Curriculum Vitae Resume Business Opportunity Joan Jenkins Job Spam Email Career PJJenks

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[Jobspam] Job Opportunities

It seems Joan & Paul Jenkins aren’t the only people to spot my talents and decide I would be a good addition to their company. I received the following email today:

From: Vlan (email)
Subject: re:your resume

Hello.

We have found your resume on Job web site(sic), and would like to offer you vacancy(sic) in our company.

If you interests(sic), more detailed information you can receive on ours web site(sic): http://www.****.us/ ( please send us email(sic) for more information ) vacancymillermorgans@Go-Chargers.com

We look forward to your reply.

Thank you.
Best regards,
Miller & Morgans inc.

Presumably literacy and grammar skills are not essential.

This job spam is new to me, so I’m going to give it a name. From now on I shall refer to any job-offer spam as ‘Jenkins’ or ‘Joan Jenkins’ as in:

“My inbox is just filled with Jenkins!” or “I got another email from Joan Jenkins today”.

Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire Joan Jenkins Paul Jenkins Vlan Curriculum VitaeResume Job Opportunity Go-Chargers Millar and Morgans Job Offer Spam Email Wars

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[Jobspam] No CV? No Problem for Total Jobs

Total Jobs are definitely worth their salt. Yesterday I joined as a member but didn’t have time to edit and post my CV (resume). But that minor detail didn’t present any problems to Total Jobs, who got to work straight away to find me new opportunities (my emphasis added)…

[Spam] Zombie Spammers

One thing that really gets on my tits, is those stupid email forwards. You know the ones, little Kirsty is dying of a major disease and she can only afford the operation if you to forward this email onto everyone including your dog. Or Bill Gates is giving his money away, just forward this on to everyone and your goldfish. The first time, years ago, I received an email like this, the first thing I did was look it up. Google wasn’t around then but Yahoo and Altavista were (still are). Straight away you can find out what you need to know.

10-15 years on and I still get these emails every now and then – “It’s probably not true, but I could do with the cash”. Sometimes I just want to slap them in the face but unfortunately these are friends and I can’t do that (especially as some are bigger than me). Wherever possible, with my uninformed friends, I try to take the time (which they didn’t) to find a worthy source, and REPLY ALL with a link, informing them of their error.

What really grates me is the fact that people genuine common sense and intelligence seems to go out the window when it comes to email. I mean, can you imagine the postman knocking your door one morning and gave you a mail which said

” Bill Gates wants to give you his money. Just Photocopy this letter 100 times and post it to all your friends and family, then wait for the checks to pour in…”

You would screw it up, dismiss it and perhaps put in a complaint to the Postal Service. Yet an email arrives, no postage paid, no verifiable source, and immediately we are motivated into action, “whatever it takes”, I’m just doing my part to make sure Kirsty gets her organ.

The problem with these emails is that they play on our apathy and greed. See, it costs nothing to send an email, and at the same time you can get the warm feeling inside that you have done your part to make the world a better place. Never mind the sacrifice it takes to help someone in need, the problems that people experience in real life. No we don’ t really care, but we want to feel like we care, to feel like we are doing something. This is only matched by our greed, Wow someone is giving money away? I’ll have some of that. Again, what does it matter about hard work, creating your own opportunities and taking responsibility for your own actions?

Unfortunately it seems the battle for intelligence over technology seems to be losing. This lack of acumen seems to have invaded the realm of text messaging now. The other day I received a text message from another well-meaning friend:

WELL MEANING BUT DUMB FRIEND:
Just recevd this FWD: Pls pray for Pastor Ferdie Flores, missionary in East Timor.he is going to be executed tomorrow by beating.Pls forward to all Christians (sic)

ME:
Hi WMBDF, do you have any details? How do you know he isn’t dead already and that this text wasn’t circulated yesterday?

WMBDF:
Hi ALEX, cant be over sure although quite a few people got text at same time. . Not sure how we will find out?

Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire