Abandon All Fear

What nobody else seems to be saying…

[Churchianity] 10 Reasons Not To Wash

Posted by Lex Fear on May 8, 2007

This is an old one that’s been banging around the internet, nevertheless it’s still a good one.

In one church, the pastor, apparently fed up with all the excuses given over the years as to why people don’t go to church, included “Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash” in the Sunday bulletin:

  • I was forced to as a child.
  • People who wash are hypocrites — they think they are cleaner than everybody else.
  • There are so many different kinds of soap, I can’t decide which one is best.
  • I used to wash, but I got bored and stopped.
  • I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter.
  • None of my friends wash.
  • I’ll start washing when I get older and dirtier.
  • I can’t spare the time.
  • The bathroom is never warm enough in winter or cool enough in summer.
  • People who make soap are only after your money.

2 Responses to “[Churchianity] 10 Reasons Not To Wash”

  1. But on the other hand, if you like washing, why the hell not?!Just don’t preach to us unclean ones okay!?

  2. Lex Fear said

    Thanks for commenting here Gav.

    The Dark Side of the Light, is of course intended for admonishing and correcting the church (but often descends into my ranting).

    Unclean Philistines (pun intended) are welcome to read, but not to take any of it personally unless they consider themselves to be holy and righteous believers!


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