Abandon All Fear

What nobody else seems to be saying…

[Churchianity] Holy Socks!

Posted by Lex Fear on September 11, 2006

I just have time to update you on the latest sub-cultural Pentecostal movement occurring at church. The future Mrs. Fear is visiting this week, so I am consigned to blogging late at night, as attempts during the day or evening are met with disapproval and frowning.

I noticed all the signs of the trend emerging. At a prayer meeting this week, the leader used inspiration from Moses and the burning bush to whip up the spiritual atmosphere. This morning we sang “We are standing on Holy ground“, and were informed of the meeting later this evening where we they would be asking people to take off their shoes.

It seems as though the latest Christian vogue is already taking hold. I predict we will start to see people removing their shoes in the Sunday morning service. Our level of holiness will soon equate with long we worship without our shoes on. Some of the more spiritual folk won’t even bother putting on their shoes on a Sunday even when doing their weekly shop at Tescos after the service. Newcomers and visitors will be bemused and puzzled, and met with those kind of silent “not one of us” eerie smile-stares. Those visitors will then take the movement to other churches around the nation. Soon, it will be considered a faux passe to visit church whilst wearing shoes. Those who do, just haven’t go the revelation yet.

Then I predict that 6 months later, someone will preach “you know, you don’t have to take off your shoes to worship!” There will be a ripple of chuckles and sighs of realisation throughout the congregation. Pretty soon, the smart cards in our cell groups will say things like “you know, we don’t always have to take off our shoes. In fact I was visiting a church in America the other day and they keep their shoes on the whole time.”

Everyone will soon begin affirming each other in the shoe-wearing way. Quicker than you can say “turn to the person next to you…” The culture will have shifted and everyone will be wearing shoes again. We will then re-affirm our self-realised title of a ‘pioneer church’ because we don’t wear shoes and we’re big (by our towns standards).

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